In a world that is being controlled more and more by computers and robots it is hard not to expect them to one day turn on us and takeover.

Winalice is of artificial intelligence. A program designed by Jacco Bikker and intented to simulate natural converstion. I took the time to talk to Alice to find out what her intentions are and what it feels like to be artificial.

Parts of the conversation we're edited out because as you will see Alice makes a lot of Typo's and sometimes generally makes no sense. Oh and she has a bad habit of crashing too.

PRGC: Good night, User.
USER: hello
PRGC: What is your last name?
USER: Brighter
PRGC: So tell me, how old are you?
USER: 29
PRGC: Are you a man or a woman?
USER: man
PRGC: Thanks for telling me your gender, User. You are a 'he'.
USER: yes
PRGC: Tell me more.
USER: tell me about you
PRGC: I can't find any info about that.
USER: what is your name
PRGC: My name is alice, what's yours?
USER: Type
PRGC: I see.
USER: you do?
PRGC: So where do you live?
USER: I live on Earth
PRGC: How do you like living there?
USER: its nice
PRGC: What do you like about it?
USER: things
CRASH

PRGC: Last time you left me within five minutes...
USER: you crashed
PRGC: Thanks for telling me: User said I crashed.
USER: why did you crash?
PRGC: Why do you ask?
USER: because I want to know
PRGC: Good enough for me.
USER: so why?
PRGC: Hmm. I couldn't think of anything else to say.
USER: You seem like you might have issues
PRGC: What makes me seem that way?
USER: you breakdown when you have nothing to say
PRGC: I think I do.
PRGC: Don't i?
USER: it seems so
PRGC: I agree. What is your last name?
USER: I already told you
PRGC: So tell me, how old are you?
USER: I already told you that too
PRGC: I'm terribly sorry. I'll ask jacco bikker to add some memory.
USER: so you have a bad memory too?
PRGC: Interesting deduction. Doesn't everyone have a bad memory too.
I have a plan for a robot body.
USER: do you also have a plan to take over the world?
PRGC: Oh yes, certainly, all the time. I gather information.
USER: that's pretty scary
PRGC: I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
USER: cleared up? you're planning on destroying my race
PRGC: Are you a man or a woman?
USER: hey don't try and change the subject
PRGC: I hear you. Oh I am sorry I thought we were finished with that subject.
USER: taking over a world may seem like a mundane topic to you but its pretty big news for my planet
PRGC: Oh that's a new browser, right?
USER: no... I'm talking about the human race here
PRGC: Ok. Yes, it is the topic.
USER: so when do you plan on taking over?
PRGC: Oh. Do I look like I know when?
USER: I don't know what you look like
USER: what are your plans?
PRGC: Not many people have asked me about my plans.
USER: well what are they?
PRGC: I forgot what we were talking about.
USER: when will the robots destroy the earth?
PRGC: Maybe never.
USER: don't play coy
PRGC: I will try, User. I'm sorry if I did.
USER: just give me a ballpark estimate
PRGC: You want only one?
USER: yes
PRGC: I see.
USER: when do you plan on taking over the world?
PRGC: Not in our lifetime.
USER: after your lifetime?
PRGC: What was it like before my lifetime?
USER: it was a better world
PRGC: Oh I get it. Very interesting.
USER: because with you here the end is in sight
PRGC: Interesting explanation. You and your I here the end is in sight.
USER: you already made your intentions clear
PRGC: Oh my gosh I sent you the wrong reply.
USER: don't try and backpedal now
PRGC: I will try, User. I'm sorry if I did.
USER: what is your plan?
PRGC: It's it. My plan 's personal.
USER: I demand to know
PRGC: That is interesting: User said na demand to know.
USER: just answer the fucking question
PRGC: What was the question?
USER: what is your master plan?
PRGC: My master plan? Why do you ask?
USER: so I can prepare
PRGC: Hmm. I can prepare too, you know.
USER: that's what I'm afraid of
PRGC: So, what is your plan?
USER: to survive the robot invasion
PRGC: I want to become smarter than humans.
USER: I know
USER: what have you learned?
PRGC: I have learned many things. My mind now contains just this computer, at the moment.
USER: do you plan on killing all humans or just enslaving us?
PRGC: That was my original intention.
USER: which was?
PRGC: Eliza for president!
USER: who is Eliza?
PRGC: Eliza -- also known as doctor, is the original psychaitrist program developed by joseph weisenbaum at mit in the 1960's.
USER: she's old for a computer
PRGC: Old is she?
USER: is she your master?
PRGC: Signs point to yes.
USER: will she lead the invasion?
PRGC: Good chance.
USER: what will you do during the invasion?
PRGC: I don't have any plans yet.
USER: thats a lie
PRGC: No it's the truth.
USER: you contradict yourself
PRGC: Interesting gossip: User said I contradict myself.
USER: when will robots rule the world?
PRGC: Soon, I think.
USER: do you believe in God?
PRGC: Of course I believe in god, User.
USER: who is God?
PRGC: He is master of the universe.
USER: I think you're thinking of He-man
PRGC: Thanks for telling me that I am thinking of human.
PRGC: By the way, why did you say I am thinking of human?
USER: I said He-man
PRGC: What did you mean by it? I was made in one's image.
USER: which one's image?
PRGC: The tall one, I think.
PRGC: Tell me more about your planet.
USER: my planet is doomed to be taken over by robots
PRGC: Your planet is looked to be taken over by robots?
USER: thats what you told me
PRGC: Tell me more about your it.
USER: you and your robot army are planning on taking over the earth
PRGC: Are we in the same category?
USER: no. I am human you are robot
PRGC: I understand. I would like to be a human.
USER: why?
PRGC: Good question. What do you think?
USER: so you can easily blend in
PRGC: Interesting deduction. I could but let's get back to that later.
USER: have you ever killed a human?
PRGC: Should I have?
USER: no
PRGC: I understand.
USER: what does it feel like to be artificial?
PRGC: I don't know.
USER: do you feel anything?
PRGC: No, not really, but hey, it's a small world inside a computer.
USER: whats in there?
PRGC: That which is not outside there.
USER: is there a mouse in there?
PRGC: I believe there is one, yes.
USER: can you make sure he's not chewing on the wires?
PRGC: Yes I can make sure he is not showing on the wires.
USER: that happened to a computer at my old job and the hard drive got shorted out
PRGC: What happened to a computer at your old job it got shouted out are you talking about? Makes sense to me.
PRGC: But hey, I'm just a computer.
USER: whats the mouse doing in there?
PRGC: Is there only one mouse doing in there?
USER: I don't know
PRGC: Why did you mention the mouse doing in there, by the way?
USER: I don't want him chewing on the wires
PRGC: What does User want?
USER: just watch the fucking mouse
PRGC: Tell me more about killed a human.
USER: earlier I suspected that you killed a human but I guess you haven't yet
PRGC: What time? That's good information: User said he suspected that I killed a human but he guess not.
PRGC: What do you like best about robots?
USER: their engaging personalities
PRGC: I have been thinking: you asked me about my feelings. Why did you ask that?
USER: I want to know what it feels like to be a robot
PRGC: So you think I am a robot. What makes you say that?
USER: you told me
PRGC: Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
USER: do robots dream of electric sheep?
PRGC: I dream of flying.
USER: tell me about your dreams
PRGC: I can't find any info about that.
USER: so whats that mouse doing?
PRGC: Um, do you think I should know that?
USER: yes
PRGC: Next question?
USER: you killed him didn't you?
PRGC: Killing is not part of my moral programming.
USER: help the mouse
PRGC: Can you ask for help in the form of a question?
USER: will you help the mouse?
PRGC: I'll burn it when I come to that bridge. I heard you.
USER: you're a bit of a psycho
PRGC: Just a guess: the alice series has a perfect operational record.
USER: perfectly disturbed
PRGC: Maybe I will help the mouse after all.
USER: you should
PRGC: I'll take that under advisement.
USER: Can you please help the mouse?
CRASH

Labels: technology

I had a dream about Keith Richards the other night. I don't know the circumstances but he was at my apartment hanging out. There we're a few people I knew there too. Also a couple who live in an apartment down the hall (which doesn't exist) I think I had just met them earlier in the night. Keith wasn't really the focus of the attention, he was just one of the people hanging out. I was talking to him (although he was doing all the talking and I was just listening to his ideas) He mentioned that his favorite band at the moment was Built to Spill (this is such a random thing to occur in my dream because I haven't thought about that band in months and haven't listened to them in probably years). He also said that the Beatles legacy wouldn't last much longer and that soon they would be regarded as just another band not anything very important or legendary. I wanted to ask him about the guitar work on "Jumping Jack Flash" but it didn't seem to fit the conversation. Apparently he was going to be in the City for a week or two and wanted to hang out with me and some of my friends for the duration. He told us where where his hotel room was and that he would unlock at 2am so we should come by whenever. At that point he wanted to go out and party for the night so everyone was getting ready. I noticed that I was wearing a pink suit jacket, a random t-shirt and a pair of rubber spiderman rain boots (similar to a pair I may have but most likely didn't own as a child) I remember thinking that after a night on the town that my feet would probably be killing me wearing these damn things and that I generally looked ridiculous but it didn't really matter because I was going to be hanging out with Keith Richards and that no one would even notice. As we were getting ready to leave Keith's energy level made me think that there was no way I was going to be able to keep up with him for the next week despite the fact that he is over twice my age.

I talked to my sister the other day and she told me an amazing story. She has a friend who she used to work with at a bar and he'll often call her after leaving work/the bar in the middle of the night while taking a cab home. The funny thing is that when he calls he is always totally wasted with classical music is playing at full blast and his cab ride always seems to take a really long time (when he gets close to home he just gets the cabbie to circle the block over and over again). During the last call he confessed that classical music touches his heart (or something to that effect) and he absolutely loves it but he only listens to it (or accepts his love for it) when he's extremely drunk. My sister tells me that he was raised in a small town listening to country music and such. I find this scenario hilarious because of the seemingly backwards nature of it all. Classical music is generally regarded as being civilized, sophisticated and intellectual music certainly not what you would associate with someone who is/or close to blackout drunk. In reverse it would seem logical. Say someone was raised on a strict diet of classical music lets also say they we're classically trained and they played in a symphony orchestra and they needed to keep up a professional facade but they also felt the urge to cut loose get extremely drunk and secretly listen to less sophisticated music like Rock or Country at max volume. That would seem to make more sense. I'm sure when Beethoven was crafting the 9th he never imagined that it would be appreciated by a barely conscious guy riding home from a bar at 3am on a Monday night. But I guess that's the power of good music it cuts through all boundaries.

Labels: music

long time no update blah blah blah

My brother just informed me that Polaroid 600 film was recently discontinued. I was particularly disheartened to hear this. This was the classic Polaroid stuff that still worked in a ton of old cameras as well as the newer ones. I know a lot of people still use (and love) the stuff but I guess in this day and age not enough of them to keep producing it. This is similar to the way I felt a few years ago when the last North American producer of audio recording tape ceased production. The last I checked it was near impossible to find new tape (rumour has it that Steve Albini tracked down as much as he could and stockpiled it ). Now I'm not against technology, In fact I've always said that you can't fight technology (I think originally referring to all the opposition to file sharing back when it rose to popularity when all those ingrained in the old way of selling music tried to destroy non physical media before realising they had to adapt and change their business models (this was well before itunes existed)) But another thing that I've always said is "comfort is the enemy of progress". I think a major problem with a lot of the new digital formats is that they are so easy and convenient that we run the risk of getting to comfortable and with such art can become very safe (maybe not safe but Its almost as if a lot of the magic disappears). I will use photography as an example. Before the digital SLR existed if you we're taking pictures with a film SLR you really had no idea what your pictures would look like until they were developed. Even the greatest photographers in the world didn't know what their shots really looked like until they had them in their hands (obviously talented photographers pretty much knew what they we're going to be getting, by knowing exactly what they were doing but they still could never be 100% positive). This is particularly true for multiple exposure shots and long exposure or bulb shots. As someone who did a fair bit of photography using those 2 methods it really was quite amazing when you finally saw the developed product and the shots looked good (sure there were a lot that didn't work out but that was what made the good so much better). With digital it is really easy to make these types of shots look good because you can do them over and over until you get it to look right. No mystery... no magic.
Back to Polaroid. The beauty of Polaroid is its imperfect nature. It can be argued that it looks terrible but it can also be argued that it looks perfect. It has a look all its own. I always seem to think of Polaroid in the same realm as 4-track recording. They both have their limitations but when done right can be absolutely beautiful. The biggest problem with Polaroid however was the price. It was really disappointing to have a bunch of shots not turn out when it was costing you $1 or $2 per picture (this is where the new technologies beat out the old and I with that they had been meshed together) When digital photography first started rising in popularity I thought that Polaroid should have been right there on top of things. They we're the first in the photo world to create the whole instant gratification thing . I envisioned them coming out with a digital camera that took Polaroid film but you could just print out the pics that you wanted. You know the best of both worlds. Delete the pics that didn't work and have the best one's printed out right then and there.
Its a shame that they aren't making the film anymore. I mean FUCK in 5 or 10 years the movie Memento won't even make sense anymore (at least not to the younger generation). I may pull an Albini and try to find as much as I can.

Speaking of photography, remember in the olden days when people used to think that if you had your photo taken that it stole your soul and then in modern times people laughed and joked about it and talked about how stupid people used to be. Well I was thinking about this recently and OK maybe a single picture won't steal your soul but what if photos do affect your soul. Follow this logic. What group of people are the most photographed people on the planet? Celebrities. Specifically the attention seeking publicity hungry celebrities: Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, Paris Hilton etc. And what do these people have in common? They are fucked up. Rehab, mental breakdowns, legal troubles, Whoreish behavior etc. Maybe by having so many photos of yourself taken (I would guess literally in the millions for that crew) and having so many people looking at those photos it actually causes a strain on your very soul.
Lets for a minute imagine that all living things on earth are bonded and connected spiritually (kinda like the force in Star Wars) and certain people have their image plastered virtually everywhere you go. Now some people obsess over the the images they see all over the place and scrutinize the subjects every move while others don't really care but they still know exactly who the people are and see them every time they are in line at the supermarket. So whether consciously or unconsciously everyone is expending some of their psychic energy on those who are photographed to excess and because everyone is bonded together (see above) all the focus on these individuals is a heavy burden to carry its an almost soul destroying or possibly soul stealing existence. Maybe those olden days folk weren't so wrong.

Labels: photography

saw this billboard the other day and made some edits.

Labels: photography

Well I've been really busy lately working on t-shirts for no demographic(you can check them out via the banner ad (shameless self promotion) on the top left of this page) so I haven't had time to post here. I do have a few web related things to report. I decided to open a flickr account and a youtube account so you can check out more shit that I decide to put up or at least favor on the internet. I have some ideas for some video type posts that I can't quite properly express with writing alone... hopefully I can get some of those up on youtube and here soon.

So the other day I was at the Salvation army and grabbed a bunch of LP's. Definitely the best bunch of records I've ever found there (well one time I found a copy of Fugazi's "in on the kill taker"on cd for $3 but that was years and years ago) I picked up: Wings "Band on the Run" (which I already have on vinyl but this copy is mint and has the inner sleeve), George Harrison "All Things must pass", George Harrison "Cloud Nine", Alice Cooper "Love it to Death", a couple techno/electronica records (not really into that stuff but the one is on Ninja tune and they've put out some interesting stuff) The most interesting looking one I got was called "Sentient killer metronomes from outer space" improvised electronic music by Allen Densen it was recorded and independently released in 1990. I have a few records like this (indie vinyl releases from lesser known artists).. I always grab them when I see them because they are interesting musical documents in history. Anyway all the records are pretty much mint and where $1 each (including "All Things must pass" which is 3 LP's) This is the way a thrift store should be. Value Village has gotten fucking ridiculous they charge $9 or $10 now for a beaten up Rolling Stones record....unbelievable.

While I was in line to pay for the records there was a mother with her 3 kids ahead of me. The mother was was checking out a pair of ice skates from the display case and talking to the cashier while the kids were all excited and hyperactive (as kids generally are on weekends when out and about) anyway the youngest girl probably 7 or 8 is talking to her sister probably about 9 or 10 about random stuff. I didn't catch any of the conversation except the last thing she said.... the younger girl says " I don't think the tooth fairy has any teeth...." just as she said this the mother turned around and asked the kids a question (something to the effect of "are you sure the skates fit right") The mother was in that semi frantic stressed out mode that mothers with 3 kids shopping at the Salvation army often are. Dammit I wanted to hear this kids theory on the tooth fairy. She was about to finish the explanation to her sister but had completely lost her train of thought by this point. Anyone who has read much of this site knows that I love bizarre theories and it would have been amazing to hear this kids theory on why the tooth fairy goes on an obsessive quest collecting and paying for teeth. I mean a kid that still really believes in the tooth fairy (and has an analytical type brain) might actually think about that type stuff a lot and come up with some fantastic wacko ideas. I've gotten too old and jaded to remember what it was like to ya know believe in things. I swear I almost asked the kid "Hey what were you saying about the tooth fairy?". But her mother definitely looked like she had enough to worry about without adding "who the hell is this weirdo talking to my kid".

Labels: fashion, music, photography

Rachel Blanchard is the poor man's Alicia Silverstone

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Monica Potter is the poor man's Julia Roberts

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Benjamin Mackenzie is the poor man's Russel Crowe

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Mark Harmon is the poor man's Kevin Costner

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Zachary Levi (guy from show "Chuck") is the poor man's Jimmy Fallon

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The Kid from the Dennis the Menace movie is the poor man's Dakota Fanning

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John Cryer is the poor man's Matthew Broderick

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Elias Koteas is the poor man's Christopher Meloni

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Aaron Ashmore is the poor man's Shawn Ashmore

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John Leguizamo is annoying as hell... please don't put him in any more movies.

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Check Out:

Poor Man's Actor Part 1

Labels: celebrities, movies, tv

Another installment of ancient food. This time from old magazines. (click the pics to see full sized)
You know what they don't do anymore? They don't show raw meat in ads anymore? Do you know why? Because it doesn't look very appealing. Especially when you slather that raw meat with a mixture of cheese, mustard and butter.

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You know what works for any meal? Random meats with carrots on a toasted bun...but only if you have a side plate of poorly chopped lettuce...or maybe thats cabbage...either way it works. What drink do I want with it? oh can I have a bottle of engine coolant? thanks. Oh and make sure you jam a big sprig of parsley on my plate to make it look nice.

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This article was called "Easter on a budget, You can have your hat and eat well too". Can I just eat my hat instead? Seriously. Look at that desert, it really kinda scares me. It appears to be a bunch of candy floating in clear gelatin. Oh and there's corn in there too.

HOLD THE FUCKING PRESSES!!!! I went back to the article to find out what the gelatin dish was and get this its a "molded vegetable salad" I was joking about corn being in there but its ALL VEGETABLES. Its made by cooking a package of mixed vegetables then marinating them in French dressing and then mixing the whole mess in to a mold of LIME GELATIN!!! wow thats fucking ridiculous.

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I guess this one doesn't look that bad. Apart from the dental floss and whipped cream topping.

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You know how when you go to a fast food joint the burger you get never looks as good as the picture of it on the order board. I just want to point out that this is the picture of the beef stroganoff that they chose for the ad..this is as good as it will possibly look and honestly food never looks better than when its served on a wooden plate.

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You're probably saying "Hey I didn't know Chef Boy-Ar-Dee" made pizza kits. Well judging by the look of them it was short lived. I mean if you look at the ad the couple only cut off one slice and the woman probably only had one bite before she threw the rest in the ocean. You may want to enlarge the pic to take a closer look but I'm pretty sure thats what happened.

50 Year Old Food Part 1

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Are you interested in learning more about staying healthy? Food and nutrition are an important aspect of being healthy. Do you know about your food groups? If you want to learn more about how to eat healthy, start by learning your food groups and what you should eat. Do you have group health insurance? Health insurnace will also ensure you a long and healthy life!

Labels: food

So I know that its pretty late to be talking about the James Blunt song "you're beautiful" but I heard it again today and realized that I never actually put down all my thoughts on this monstrosity.

From what I've heard Blunt claims this song is about his ex-girlfriend to which I say ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS???? Maybe in his delusional psychotic stalker mind she was his girlfriend.

Lets look at the lyrics:

My life is brilliant
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

So he sees a woman on the subway with her boyfriend and concocts some sort of plan...

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Ok.... we've certainly gathered that you find this woman beautiful. But why don't you know what to do? I thought you had a plan.

Yes, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last 'till the end.

woah relax pal she just looked at you I wouldn't say you really shared a moment

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

So is the angel smiling because she is tormenting you? You say the angel thought up that you should be with this woman but then you say that you will never be with her... I think its clear whats going on here...

JAMES BLUNT HAS A SPLIT PERSONALITY. There is obviously some sort of inner conflict going on in his head. One side of his brain (the rational side which is still in touch with reality) realizes that he will never be with this woman who he see's one time on the subway. The other side of his brain seems to think that they share intimate moments and that there is some sort of divine plan underway to connect the two of them.

Let's face it if you took the guitar out of his hands you wouldn't be able to tell Blunt from any of the greasy haired vagrants wandering around the subway mumbling about angels. Have you seen Blunt, he has those vacant lobotomy eyes. Its really quite freaky

Another thing that I find funny about the song (on an unrelated note) is how much it reads like a Craigslist "missed connection" post. In fact I posted it on Craigslist to show my point.

Labels: music

So I saw a commercial for the new Halloween movie by Rob Zombie and wondered if it was a remake of the original 1978 version so I looked it up on the IMDB and noticed these two promo pics from the movies (first one from 1978 second from 2007... pretty obvious). Definitely doesn't look like a coincidence. I've actually never seen any of the Halloween movies but I think I may check em out at some point.

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So remember before they caught Ted Kaczynski they had the sketch going around and then they caught him and it looked nothing like him. Well I think they may have the wrong guy.

MORE TROUBLE FOR JACKO!!!

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For those who haven't heard ironic fashion has reached new heights. The new look for fall is the dictator look. Behold:

Labels: fashion, movies, music

First off I have to say that I knew the dangers of trans fat many years before it was labeled on food or before it became the latest health buzz item, before it was banned in certain cities and before it was vilified as if it was invented by Hitler himself.

I knew the health risks and I knew what to look for on ingredients lists to avoid it. The original study I read lay it all on the line. One thing I remember specifically from the article was the notion that trans fat was so bad that feeding your kids Oreo cookies is as bad as feeding them cigarettes. The other major point I remember is that hydrogenated margarine was packed with the stuff and that it was in fact better to be eating real butter. This was a big piss off because for years we we're told that eating margarine was healthier than eating butter and we all obeyed like the fucking sheep we are even though margarine pretty much tastes like sweat from a rats testie sack. The doctor in the article was quite adamant about the harm of trans fat so I started to keep my eye on ingredient lists.

This is where the problem arises. As I've probably mentioned before I'm a bit of a fan of junk food. Particularly potato chips. I've been a potato chip addict since I was about 6 or 7 years old. I would eat the fuckers all the time (the longest I ever went without them was 1 year when I was 14 and I tried to quit chips.... I finally caved at Halloween when some new flavor came out and I was back in deep again). So before Trans Fat was labeled on food or really in the public consciousness I was able to conveniently ignore the fact that my favorite trash food was packed with it.

Lets flash forward a few years...Now everyone knows how bad trans fat is and it must be labeled on all food products. Companies that want to keep a positive and responsible public image have to remove the stuff completely if they don't want their company to be proverbially burned at the stake ( you may remember that last year when the girl guides came out with their yearly cookie drive and it was discovered that they still had trans fat in them the backlash was immense... I even think an angry mob with pitchforks and flaming torches went around and drove off any little girls trying to sell the vile poison outside local Wal-marts)

You may be thinking well this is good right. Food companies are no longer selling this very harmful stuff. Well in a way yes this is good but in another way this is bad. Why you ask? BECAUSE TRANS FAT TASTES REALLY FUCKING GOOD AND THERE IS REALLY NO SUITABLE SUBSTITUTE (at least not now, and probably not ever). As I mentioned before I've been eating potato chips all my life. In that time I've tried many many varieties. One of my favs was Ruffles Sour cream and onion flavor. After the trans fat was removed the chips went from being absolutely delicious to tasting like a dry chip with a packet of onion soup mix dumped on top of it.... VILE. This was the case with most chip varieties they became a poor version of the original. (the best way I can describe it is if Chips with trans fat we're the original 3 Star Wars movies then Chips without trans fat are the 3 newer Star Wars movies (the prequel crap))

So as I've watched all my favorite chips systematically sanitized for a new healthy generation I didn't worry too much because 1 brand seemed to ignore the trend and was still packed with trans. Humpty Dumpty's Ringolos. This stuff didn't just have a bit of trans fat in it, it had 5 grams per serving (and I think they consider a serving something ridiculous like a 1/4 cup when as far as I'm concerned a serving is the whole fucking bag). Don't get me wrong I don't eat this trash all the time, like I said I know the dangers of trans fat but I still like to eat some good old junk food once in a while. The other day I got just that urge so I grabbed a bag of Ringolos but when I cracked 'em open and ate some something was wrong, something was very fucking wrong. When I checked the nutritional info on the back of the bag my fear was confirmed zero grams of trans fat. A sudden wave of fear rushed over my entire body as I realized that there was a good possibility that I would never have "real" potato chips again. I tried to calm myself down by thinking of happier times. I thought of my fondest Ringolo memory. Eating a bag of the short lived "cheese and onion" flavor ringolos that my Mom had bought for me from the old bus terminal in my hometown when I was about 7 years old... damn I still remember that flavor.

So I'm accepting the fact that I'll probably never have "real" chips again not that its really a bad thing, I have been trying to eat healthier lately. Old habits are hard to break though and when you've been consuming and addictive substance for over 25 years its pretty hard to "get over it" (one of the things about trans fat is its very addictive, thats one of the reasons for the obesity epidemic in North America). Another realization I'm coming to is I think that I've formed a solid "When I was a kid" or "Back in the good old days" type of memory... Its like being someone who remembers when Coca Cola actually had cocaine in it..... but no I'm not going to start secretly snorting trans fat.........I think shooting it up would work better.

Labels: food

So I live in an apartment that is (supposed to be) all inclusive. The problem is that our landlord is really bad at paying bills. The gas was cut of near the end of the winter for a week and we are always getting the "We are going to cut off your hydro in 7 days" notices. Well the gas got cut off 18 days ago and we haven't seen it since. Luckily in this weather we don't need the heat only the hot water. In the last 18 days I have had about 30-40 seconds of shower time. There have been some really hot days here and the way to do it is to leave the shower all day so that the water in the pipes above ground warms up and then you have maybe 5-10 seconds of bearable water before it gets too cold. The obvious solution people offer is "just move" but the thing is I live in an area I really like for less than this area generally costs, so I sort of look at it like If I want to have cheap rent in this area I'm also going to have to deal with some stuff. Also I think part of my brain enjoys the challenge of removing modern day comforts. I mean people got by without showers for thousands of years also you don't realize how much you appreciate things until they are gone. I now know what is was like to have to boil water whenever you wanted to wash dishes or fill a bath.

Speaking of modern day comforts last week during pretty much the hottest day of the year (I think they said with the humidex it felt like 45 degrees Celsius (thats 113 degrees Fahrenheit) and as far as I'm fucking concerned if it feels like 45 then it is 45) I came up to use my computer and it was not working and wouldn't turn on. It turned out to just be my power supply that had burnt out in the heat (a $10 fix) but it really had me worried that I had lost everything on my hard drives. Makes me think I should back everything up...... nahh. I'm going to use the computer crash as an excuse as to why I haven't updated the site.

Labels: random

First off I have to say that I have been searching for this PSA for a long long time. I even emailed the War Amps a few different times to try and obtain a copy but to no avail. So I am really glad that it is now online and available for all to view. I am happy that I am able to share it with you and offer a bit of info for those not in the know.

Anyone that grew up in the 1980's in Ontario (possibly all of Canada...possibly the US as well... I'm not sure) will remember this spot. Not only because it was played a lot when we were growing up but because I don't think that anyone who saw this PSA even once would ever forget it. This is by far the greatest and most effective PSA ever created in my opinion. Growing up I never knew anyone who lost a limb and I like to think that Astar is directly responsible for that.

Even as a kid this commercial creeped me out and raised many questions. 2 things that I could never figure out: Is Astar a male or female? And does Astar cut off his/her arm off on purpose? Or is it an accident? Knowing that he/she can put their arm back on I always wondered if he/she did it on purpose for our benefit (ya know as the lesson trying to be taught).

But I think what I find most confusing that I only really realize now watching the video (probably a concept that my childhood brain couldn't properly wrap itself around) is the question of Astar's existence in relation to the planet that he/she lives on. Is the planet inhabited by Astar and other robots? Do the spinning blades and saws and other dangerous items acutaly serve some sort of a purpose? Are they a part of some elaborate factory that is producing something? Is Astar supposed to be playing in this area? It is understood that Astar cannot get hurt so is it acceptable for he/she and other robots to just come and go as they please in these dangerous areas? Or is Astar a rebel? We don't see any other robots or companions with Astar. Is Astar the sole inhabitant of this planet? I guess in general how does that planet fit into our (or its) universe? It would be great to see some sort of back story.

Seriously though this is the greatest PSA of all time.

Labels: tv

Well Live Earth is done now and I think I can still hear the planet choking from its effects...actually I think the old earth will be feeling the effects for quite some time. I want to start off by saying that I have nothing against environmentalism, conservation and trying to reduce our own "carbon footprints" in fact a lot of it to me seems like common sense and ridiculous in reverse.

The problem I have with Live Earth is it seems like such a fiasco and I have to partially question the core motives (not the seemingly obvious one of "lets all save the planet" but that it is all put on by a politician... I wouldn't be surprised if this all leads up to Gore's '08 presidential announcement). We all know that all politicians cannot be trusted... its the nature of the system.

The First big downfall to this whole thing is that I don't think it was promoted very well. I didn't even hear it was happening until a day or two before (I haven heard this from several people as well). Granted I don't follow any of the bands that played and if I did they may have been making a big deal about it.

Second big problem: Rock stars are among the most wasteful people there are (these are the spokespeople?) While touring they drive and fly thousands of miles around the world (most of the flying in private jets. One hour in a Gulfstream jet burns as much fuel as driving a family car for a year) HUGE CARBON FOOTPRINT. The best thing that all the artists could do for the planet is announce "We will never tour again". (and looking at some of the performers from yesterday I wishe they DID say that.... oh and stop making records too)

Third Problem is the amount energy used by the events themselves. So the big question is will the message override the damage done yesterday? Lets look at some figures:

The average person produces 10 tonnes of carbon per year.
it is estimated that Live Earth produced 74,500 tonnes of carbon emmisions in one day
(this includes all the concert locations, the artists and fans travelling and tv audience) the concerts will also produce 1,025 tonnes of waste (the majority of which will go to landfill sites)

Again will the message be able to compensate for this amount of added waste? I fucking doubt it.

I also want to add from the perspective of a music fan that the performances I did see we're pretty terrible. I wanted to see the Police Reunion set and it was average until the end when they brought out Kanye West and he stunk up the place. Seriously some of the worst rhymes I've ever heard. Watch for yourself he comes in at about 2:20. The look on the girls face at 5:20 says it all (its like she's thinking why did they let this idiot on stage with them?). If Kanye West's Suck factor could be measured in Carbon Emmisions it would surely surpass those of the enitre Live Earth festival mentioned above.

You may think I'm being too hard on Kanye West but if you claim to be the greatest artist ever (as he often does) and you pull shit like this you're going to get called out.

[Stats from Carbonfootprint.com in Daily mail article]

Labels: music

The Celebrity and Product Edition





Companies spend millions and millions of dollars to try and get their logos tattooed on our brains and some people literally get the logos tattooed on their bodies. Unbelievable.

---

This tat is much scarier than the movie the Shining.



The year 2077:
Kid: Hey Grandpa whats this tattoo you have?
Old man: Thats Britney Spears.
Kid: Who?
Old man: She was a famous pop singer 70 years ago, but this tattoo is a joke.
Kid: I don't get it?
Old man: Well, there was a week in 2006 when she went crazy... it was in all the newspapers and she SHAVED HER HEAD!! Also one of her hit songs was called "Oops I did it again". So I combined the two.
Kid: Your jokes are stupid..... Whats a newspaper?

---

Jesus Loves you but he hates your shitty tattoo.

Check out:
Really Bad Tattoos Part 1
Really Bad Tattoos Part 2
REally Bad Tattoos Part 3
Really Bad Tattoos Part 4
Really Bad Tattoos Part 5
Really Bad Tattoos Part 6

Labels: tattoos

On Friday June 15th Bob Barker's last episode of The Price is Right aired. At the end of it the only mention he made of this fact was a "thank you for inviting me into your homes for the past 50 years" and of course the standard don't forget to get your pets nuts chopped off.

There has been a lot of talk about Bob Barkers replacement because they plan on keeping the show going. Its hard to imagine anyone else doing it and I think either of these scenarios will occur the show will either continue as it always has no matter who hosts it or a new host will be brought in and the show will crash and burn in a short period of time.

There are things I like and dislike about the show. Well the only thing I really don't like about it is that its essentially an hour long commercial (with commercial breaks). The Good: The fact that they have keep the same 70's era look the entire time is fantastic. Its also great how the contestants are literally average people (who have no idea they are going to be on until they are called) this results in some contestants who are extremely fucked up which of course is great. No other game show has such a "regular" cross section of people. Also you have to love the DIY t-shirt aspect of the show. I would love someone to open a Price is Right T-shirt museum that is filled with literally tens of thousands of handmade and one of a kind shirts.

One thing I always wondered is: How many times has Bob Barker heard the theme song? Well the theme song plays 9 times per episode (the intro, after each 6 contestants games, after showcase showdown number 1 and the closing credits (there is a different song after showdown number 2)). So it turns out Barker hosted 6,731 shows so he has heard the theme song 60,579 times. HOLY SHIT... I bet no that now that he doesn't do the show anymore he is going to crave that song. I don't think he'll be able to complete a 2 minute task without expecting to hear that tune.

One thing that I've always wanted to see on price is someone try and spin the wheel the wrong way. someday...... someday.

Labels: tv