The Tiling of a nation
So recently I did some re-tiling here (the bathroom and the kitchen) and seeing as I wanted the highest possible quality product I went off to the dollar store to buy some vinyl tiles. The tiles were 3 for $1 and with any product with such a steep price tag they come with a 1 year warranty. Now the funny thing is according to the packaging the tiles must be installed in a very specific and precise method for the warranty to be valid.... The funny part? The packaging is fraught with so many spelling and grammar mistakes that I don't think it would be hard to make a case for any installation job.
I scanned the instructions and have included a few of the best parts (with mistakes highlighted). I know I'm probably the last guy who should be pointing out spelling and grammar errors (as evidenced by this site) but these are too good to leave alone.
- ok fair enough, that may be an honest mistake.
- I fried all the paint on the cement before installing the tiles but for some reason they didn't seem to stick.
- I gather that "must be clean" is an important point. Its a good thing the kitchen and the
bathroom don't have any varmish on them cause the living room is infested.
-Are dust dirts the byproduct of dust?
Who is this MAN-UG-ACTURER?
-My favorite line in the whole thing "Stilet to heals". That's fucking gold
-Well seeing as that sentence makes no sense to me I choose to disregard it.
Anyway for reasons beyond my comprehension some of these high quality tiles have begun to crack after about 1 month. I explicitly followed the instructions when installing them so I don't know what the problem is. It must be a manufacturer defect. So I'm going to write a letter to the company as follows:
Dear Capri Tile
I recently purchased 30 tiles for my bathroom and after just 1 month they have become defective. I am very upset. When someone spends $0.33 on a tile there is a reasonable expectation of quality. I feel that I should be compensated for my out of pocket expenses and distress from this whole tiling ordeal. I am asking for $11.27 to replace my 30 tiles (total with tax) and $50,000 in pain and suffering. As you can understand I will not ship the defective tiles back as that would be further undue expense to me. Please remit a cheque in the amount of $50, 011.27 ASAP to resolve this issue.
Thank you.
I scanned the instructions and have included a few of the best parts (with mistakes highlighted). I know I'm probably the last guy who should be pointing out spelling and grammar errors (as evidenced by this site) but these are too good to leave alone.
- ok fair enough, that may be an honest mistake.
- I fried all the paint on the cement before installing the tiles but for some reason they didn't seem to stick.
- I gather that "must be clean" is an important point. Its a good thing the kitchen and the
bathroom don't have any varmish on them cause the living room is infested.
-Are dust dirts the byproduct of dust?
Who is this MAN-UG-ACTURER?
-My favorite line in the whole thing "Stilet to heals". That's fucking gold
-Well seeing as that sentence makes no sense to me I choose to disregard it.
Anyway for reasons beyond my comprehension some of these high quality tiles have begun to crack after about 1 month. I explicitly followed the instructions when installing them so I don't know what the problem is. It must be a manufacturer defect. So I'm going to write a letter to the company as follows:
Dear Capri Tile
I recently purchased 30 tiles for my bathroom and after just 1 month they have become defective. I am very upset. When someone spends $0.33 on a tile there is a reasonable expectation of quality. I feel that I should be compensated for my out of pocket expenses and distress from this whole tiling ordeal. I am asking for $11.27 to replace my 30 tiles (total with tax) and $50,000 in pain and suffering. As you can understand I will not ship the defective tiles back as that would be further undue expense to me. Please remit a cheque in the amount of $50, 011.27 ASAP to resolve this issue.
Thank you.
Labels: random
11:27 PM posted byhave to agree - 'stilet to heals'
fucking gold!
9:15 AM posted by
I'd add extra postage to that letter; good chance the "home office" isn't in the continental 48. But I do think you'll get the 50,000 in currency... either yen or pesos.
12:33 AM posted by
will you marry me?
4:06 PM posted by
and it worked? lol!!
12:20 PM posted by
this made me laugh out loud... and not in an "lol" type of way...
1:39 AM posted by
I love Engrish!! I bought a knife sharpener the other day and the box was hilarious:
http://blandcanyon.blogspot.com/2006/07/it-chops-it-grates-it-sharpens.html
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