Rachel Blanchard is the poor man's Alicia Silverstone

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Monica Potter is the poor man's Julia Roberts

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Benjamin Mackenzie is the poor man's Russel Crowe

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Mark Harmon is the poor man's Kevin Costner

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Zachary Levi (guy from show "Chuck") is the poor man's Jimmy Fallon

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The Kid from the Dennis the Menace movie is the poor man's Dakota Fanning

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John Cryer is the poor man's Matthew Broderick

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Elias Koteas is the poor man's Christopher Meloni

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Aaron Ashmore is the poor man's Shawn Ashmore

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John Leguizamo is annoying as hell... please don't put him in any more movies.

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Check Out:

Poor Man's Actor Part 1

Labels: celebrities, movies, tv

On the lot is a new reality show about a group of aspiring movie directors all vieing for a prize of a million dollar contract with Dreamworks. On the first episode their task was to pitch a movie idea based on one of the following five concepts. I'm glad I didn't have to pitch one of them because this is what I think of when given the ideas...

A slacker applies to the C.I.A. as a joke and is accepted.
At first glance this concept seems like it could only be a comedy and it would have to star some idiot like Pauly Shore (well Pauly Shore if it was the early 90's) in this day and age it would have to star another idiot like.... lets say Jamie Kennedy. The problem is that this movie would never ever ever ever be even remotely funny (not on any level) it would be... well it would be your standard Pauly Shore or Jamie Kennedy movie... ie. ghastly unfunny. I want to take this film in a different direction. The film will be a drama. Not just any drama an utterly dry, 100% serious comedy free drama.(*) The slacker character is not a slacker in the sense of a stoner who sits on the couch eating cheeto's watching Maury but a slacker in the sense that he is so morbidly depressed that he can barely bring himself to get out of bed and walk to the bathroom. He applies to the C.I.A. not as a prank joke like a bunch of half drunk frat boys would find funny but more like a man with such low self esteem attempting to yet again self sabotage himself with an attempt at a job that he feels he would never get. The reasons are unclear why he is actually hired but he isn't hired as some sort of C.I.A. field agent as you may be thinking. He is hired for some sort of lowly data entry clerk type position. He takes the job and basically goes unnoticed and continues his utterly mundane and mediocre existence. This film has very little dialog or even movement. Picture long scenes shot in drab monotone colours of a pathetic looking man staring blankly at walls and such. Movie will star the C list equivalent of Tobey Maguire. The film will be a box office and critical failure but the universe will be better off without another Jamie Kennedy movie.

A man sees his face on the news described as missing or wanted.
Ok this one has to be done in a Phillip K. Dick style of confusing duality etc. So the guy see's himself wanted on the news for some major crime. He has to go on the run to try and figure it all out. Much to his surprise he finds out he has a twin brother . But it turns out that his twin brother actually cloned himself and the clone is the one wanted by the police. The guy finally comes face to face with the clone and the clone tells the guy (the original guy) that he is the clone and not him. So the dude can't figure out if he really is a clone or if he has a twin brother or if he has a twin brother and a twin brother clone. In the end it turns out that there are no clones and that they are identical triplets and the original guy actually was the one wanted by the police because he would commit crimes at night while sleep walking.... actually no fuck it... he would commit crimes at night because he was a werewolf........................ who was actually a clone of his twin brothers werewolf. FUCK YEAH!!!.... I have to work on this one a bit to make it more confusing clonefusing.

A mouse is captured by a pharmaceutical company and must plan his escape.
This would work in the style of Watership down and the Plague dogs. Someone get Richard Adams we have a job for him. Seriously this movie would suck balls if it was like Stuart Little because Stuart Little sucked balls.(**) But if it had a dark edge to it. Animals trying to survive in the world against mysterious and sinister human's who seem capable of nothing but evil. Could be a winner.

A priest meets the woman of his dreams before he is to be ordained.
He becomes a priest and then fucks the broad anyway. Jesus is not impressed.(***) PASS!

A crate bound for a secret military base is delivered to a suburban family.
This one IS a comedy but one geared towards unimaginative/mentally deficient 7 year olds. Tom Arnold is the head of the family his wife is played by the Redheaded Woman from the "Problem Child" movies his son is played by that annoying kid Frankie Muniz who played Malcolm in the middle and the daughter is some other prat. The crate comes to their house but its only filled with styrofoam cups. Some psuedo sinister guy from the military base is sent to try and retrieve the case. He will be played by someone with a moustache. Its one of those movies where people over act and make a big deal about stupid things and ends up getting a 2.1 on the IMDB.

* By creating a film that is 100% serious it will actually be funnier than if it was the Jamie Kennedy comedy.... you just got X'ed

** I've never actually seen Stuart Little

*** I realize that this may in fact be the most offensive think I have ever written... but fuck it. (if yr easily offended what the fuck are you doing on this site?)

Labels: celebrities, movies, tv

You have to spend 1 hour locked in a room with either:
CUJO






















OR

COJO



















WHICH DO YOU CHOOSE?

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Picture this:
a fairly rich man eats a large sized serving of eggs benedict even though he isn't really hungry.

also

a man unjustly fired from his job spends a night throwing eggs at his bosses car.

Do you think the hen who layed all the above mentioned eggs would be more
offended by one of the situations?

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You meet a Genie who offers you as much money as you would like.
THE CATCH: For every $250 the genie will randomly remove 1 word from your vocabulary. You will never be able to learn or understand the lost words again and when you hear them they will just sound like jibberish. You will have to learn to communicate with whatever you have left.

Facts:
1 million dollars: you lose 4,000 words
avg persons vocab: 5 or 6 thousand words

How much money would you take?

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You learn that James Blunt is a psychotic axe murderer













Are you even surprised?

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You meet another genie he gives you two options?
For the rest of your life you can only listen to either:
the genre of music that you most despise
or
your all time favorite album

CATCH:

for the genre you hate you can listen to any bands or artists (within that genre) whenever and however frequently you like but that is it.

for your favorite album you must listen to if on repeat for the rest of your life with no break.

Which do you choose?

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This idea partially inspired by Chuck Klosterman's 23 questions

Labels: celebrities, movies, music, random

Seriously, as far as I'm concerned the guy can eat a garbage bag full of dicks. I'll admit that I was into the "Mad Max" movies, the "Lethal Weapon" flicks were decent (despite getting the tbs treatment is recent years), "conspiracy theory" was alright and I was even kinda a fan of Payback but when Gibson got on the whole "Passion of the Christ" thing it didn't really work for me. The whole thing just rubbed me the wrong way. The reports were that at the end of it all "The Passion of the Chirst" will have earned Gibson upwards of One Billion Dollars. Now I've always felt that if Gibson is truly a faithful man and truly just wanted to show the what happened to Jesus then he should donate every penny of profit from that film to charity and if not he should be confronted with some serious questions.

The guy is full of shit instead of making a film depicting all the good things that Jesus did he chose to ultimately make one about Jesus final hours of suffering and death. Hmmm I wonder why, could it be that that's what would sell and make him shitloads of money. Now I know that the crucifixion is an important part in the story of Jesus but if that's all you show the question is What are you trying to say with this film?

It would sort of be like if a film maker went up to the studio and said:
film maker: I want to make a movie about Elvis
studio: So do you want to portray Elvis' rise to fame and how he made music that many people loved and identified with?
film maker: Oh no not at all. I want to make a movie about Elvis' last hours when he was fucked up on pills and then show him dying on a toilet.

So the recent news about Gibson getting pulled over drunk and spouting anti-Semitic remarks further solidifies the case that the guy is full of shit. Being drunk is no excuse, you don't say things when you're drunk unless you actually believe them. I mean when I'm drunk I'm not going to start yelling I hate Nickelback If I really don't (I really do). So Gibson isn't going to be making anti-Semitic remarks when he's drunk unless he is in fact a anti-Semite. Now you may be asking "Hey wasn't Jesus Jewish? How can Mel Gibson be an anti-Semite?". If I can re-iterate a point: MEL GIBSON IS FULL OF SHIT. From what I've heard Jesus is a pretty forgiving guy and I guess you'd have to be if you're so called followers are shit bags like Gibson.

Conversation between Jesus and Mel Gibson I would like to see:
Jesus: So I saw that movie you made about me getting beaten tortured and then crucified
Gibson: What did you think?
Jesus: Too much whipping not enough leper healing I was hoping to maybe see some scenes where I helped people, you know loving people was really the message I was trying to get across.
Gibson: Well I made a lot of money with that movie. I even started selling official "passion of the Christ" crucifixion nails
Jesus: Do you remember when I found people selling things in the temple I was rather upset and I even tossed over the vendors tables. Have you ever even read the bible?
Gibson: Well ummm....
Jesus: Mel?
Gibson: I read some of it...
Jesus: And what did you learn from it?
Gibson: That is would make a big blockbuster movie

Labels: celebrities, movies

TV Series: Every morning while I eat my breakfast and drink my green tea I like to watch an episode of a selected TV series. Watching a series in sequence day to day is so much better than watching it on TV, you don't have to wait a week for the next episode and there are no commercials. Right now I am watching "Twin Peaks". What a great show. There were only 2 seasons before it was cancelled. Fans of the show say that it was ahead of its time and I guess it was to a certain extent. It was on when I was a kid and I always remember it was known as a weird show, but watching it today it is certainly no weirder than "Lost" and definitely less cryptic. Anyway "Twin Peaks" has some interesting parental connections to modern day stars. Russ Tamblyn who played Dr. Lawrence Jacoby is Amber Tamblyn's (Joan of Arcadia)Father. Mary Jo Deschanel who played Eileen Hayward is Zooey Deschanel (Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy) and Emily Deschanel's (Bones) mother. Grace Zabriskie who played Sarah Palmer and Warren Frost who played Dr. William Hayward played The Ross' in Seinfeld (Susan's (George's fiance) parents).

Actors: I've mentioned before that I dislike Vin Diesel, well I have more reason. I saw him on both Conan and Letterman this week and he told the same lame anecdote on both shows. I hate that shit. Are you so unimaginative and uninspired that you can't come up with more than one story.? This is also one of the reasons that I really dislike Terrance Howard. When he was promoting "Hustle and Flow" I saw him tell the same pimp story in every fucking interview he did. The guy sucks. As far as I'm concerned he's the poor mans Benicio Del Torro.

Signs: You know how on the door of basically every store in the free world it says "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service". This leads me to this question: Was there a point in time when the streets were rampant with shoeless shirtless people? If yes was that time the 1960's? I just can't envision a time when this must have gotten so out of hand that all business' unanimously proclaimed "We must do something about this!!!!". Oh yeah pets too. I guess people used to just walk into stores wearing nothing but shorts with a few dogs and cats maybe an iguana or two and the store owners couldn't really do shit.

Food (sort of): So I have this can of non-stick cooking spray and as I was spraying it on a cookie sheet the other day I noticed the best before date on the bottom. It read Best Before OCT 2606. I started to envision future generations auctioning off the cooking spray for exorbenant amounts of money as an edible product from 600 years ago. It would be like us finding something from 1406 that was still edible. Obviously the date is meant to read Oct. 26th 2006 but what fun would that be.

Labels: celebrities, food, tv

Bruce Willis has 2 movies slated to come out in 2006 called "16 Blocks" and "Lucky Number Slevin". This further solidifies my theory that Bruce Willis is trying to make a movie with every number (from 1 - 20) in the title. Let me demonstrate:

1. The First Deadly Sin
2. Look Who's Talking too
3. Die Hard 3
4. Four Rooms
5. The Fifth Element
6. Sixth Sense
7. Lucky Number Slevin
9. The Whole 9 yards
10. The Whole 10 Yards
12. 12 Monkeys
16. 16 Blocks

Seriously?? You would be hard pressed to find many (if any) other actor's that have this many films with numbers in the titles (excluding of course multiple sequels of the same series ). Willis only needs to make a movie with the number 8 in the title to cover 1 - 10 and then he can work on finishing 11 - 20. I think he'll get it done.

Labels: celebrities, movies

In my opinion a celebrity tattoo is probably never a good idea, but some are exceptionally bad.

* I'm not going to criticize someone for being a fan of Weird Al but don't you think a T-shirt would suffice?

* I think that the Celine Dion tattoo must have been drawn from memory or something because it barely resembles her.

* Lastly to the person with the Kevin tattoo: Do you realize that you are a super fan of a band that is directed towards 12 year olds and I think they even broke up about 5 years ago. In 20 years people will just assume it's a tattoo of some creepy dude you used to date.

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Continuing with the celebrity worship but with a twist.

* Anchorman was an OK movie but definitely not amazing is it really worth this amount of devotion?

* The Mariah Carey Tattoo doesn't even look like the original picture and for some unknown reason they have added things to it.

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And in the most bizarre case of celebrity worship... For some fucking reason this person got a tattoo of Angelina Jolie's adopted son Maddox. This completely boggles my mind. Has celebrity obsession actually reached this point? I guess it has. What the fuck has happened to the world.

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Do people not realize how short sighted it is to get technology related tattoos.

* I bet the DVD guy has a VHS tattoo on his other leg, a BETAMAX tattoo on one arm and LASERDISC on the other.

* Martha Stewart served what was it a 6 month prison term? Good thing you decided to get a tattoo so the world would never forget how much suffering the billionaire went through in a minimum security prison. You're right it really was a grave human rights tragedy. Hey have you ever heard of Nelson Mandela? Oh OK I didn't think so.

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I like to imagine 2 different scenarios relating to Mr. Cool Ice:

1. His friends made up the name purely as a joke and mockingly called him Mr. Cool Ice.

or

2. He came up with the name himself, No one actually calls him that but he constantly refers to himself as Mr. Cool Ice.

both are hilarious in their own right.

check out:
Really Bad Tattoos Part 1
Really Bad Tattoos Part 2
Really Bad Tattoos Part 4
Really Bad Tattoos Part 5
Really Bad Tattoos Part 6
Really Bad Tattoos Part 7
Really Bad Tattoos Part 8

Labels: celebrities, tattoos

Found this pic on awfulplasticsurgery.com. Remember that kid who played Hasselhoff's son Hobie on Batwatch? Well this is him now. I find it strange that he's only 25 yet he looks like a washed up 45 year old european pop star.

Labels: celebrities, tv

When reality shows first hit the scene I resisted them full force and refused to watch them on basic principle. I didn't see a single episode of Survivor Season 1 until the night of the finale. Before going out a friend and I turned it on for about 5 minutes, we decided we had to leave the house because we could feel ourselves getting sucked in. That night at the bar it was extremely quiet (maybe 5 people in the whole place) I imagined that everyone was having a Survivor party and watching the show in droves (they must have been, it had been all anyone could talk about for months). I was stubborn and wanted in no way to give in to this new TV trend.

This all changed when I found myself working in a job that was in essence a
sinecure. I had nothing better to do than watch TV and seeing as this was still supposed to be a job the TV didn't have cable and therefore I only got 2 channels who's reception was relatively clear. I learned something interesting about myself while in this position: I could watch the most ridiculously terrible crap day in and day out if I had nothing better to do (or was too lazy to do something else). I literally watched the soap opera "Passions" for 2 years straight while absolutely despising it with every fiber of my being. (eventually I accepted the show. But in my defense I think they got new writers). The passions thing is a separate issue but I did start watching reality shows when they were on and in most cases I didn't hate them the way I had convinced myself I should.

If Jerry Springer and COPS have taught us anything its that drama and conflict are entertaining and can pass as a viable TV show. Reality shows are based on this doctrine, without it they're nothing. I personally find that the closer a show gets to the finale the less interesting it becomes. I watched the entire season of last years Apprentice except the final 2, by that point there are so few contestants left that it becomes more of a serious competition and I couldn't care less about the actual outcome. In reality TV the end doesn't justify the means, the means justifies the means. This formula doesn't work if you want your show to have longevity, essentially you are making the equivalent of a popcorn movie. Its entertaining for the time you spend watching it but it utterly forgettable. I have to really think to remember the people who won all the reality shows I've seen let alone all the jackasses who got voted off in the early weeks of the shows.

Of course American Idol is the exception to the rule. Because they are working along to an actual goal, we are more likely to hear about them when the thing is all done, but no one who placed lower than the top 2 (unless you banged Paula Abdul). So in actuality it isn't the exception to the rule. The show still has the conflict and drama they just condense most of it into the audition stage of the show and 90% (actually 83.34%) of the finalists are forgotten (especially Josh Gracin).

I guess I should get to the point of this post. All the reality shows (including the flagship Survivor) are dropping in the ratings. It seems that people's interest is moving back to scripted drama's like the monster hit "Lost". This isn't a bad thing because the reality template is getting pretty worn out. I'm sure the big shows will stick around for quite a while longer but we probably wont see many more flash in the pan's like the "Temptation Island"s or the "Average Joe"s anymore.

tags:tv, reality tv, entertainment

Labels: celebrities, tv

As I was sorting through some of the mounds of crap I have lying around I came across something that I had ripped out of a spin magazine back in the early to mid nineties. It has to be late 1993 or early 1994 (judging by what is written). It is a list of the 100 greatest songs of all time as voted by the readers (click to view a scan), on the reverse are various other top lists. There are some interesting things to note especially after this years release of spin's top 100 albums of the past 20 years.

Whenever we see a list of the top modern rock (or any rock for that matter)albums or songs of all time Nirvana will undoubtedly be in the top 5, or top 10 if its a British list. This is just accepted fact these days because that's the way history has presented to us since the mid nineties. We are told that grunge and especially Nirvana broke onto the scene and changed everything, although this is true it wasn't until Cobain's death that Nirvana (and the idea of grunge) rose to legendary status.
There is ample evidence right there on the readers songs picks of 1993. "Smells Like Teen Spirit" ranks as number 43. The song didn't get any better after Cobain killed himself the following year. The number 1 song on the list is "Black" by Pearl Jam, Which makes sense because during the whole "grunge" thing Pearl Jam was a much bigger phenomenon than Nirvana was. The difference is that Pearl Jam made a bunch of mediocre records after Cobain offed himself thus changing the way music history is written. Its not breaking news that death is the best thing for a career (I've always found it interesting that people seem to forget that Lennon made crap records (with the exception of Imagine) for all of the 1970s.

As I said on the reverse of the readers poll there were other lists one being Spins picks for the top 5 albums of all time. Beside the 5 I will indicated what position the albums are on the new spin top 100.

1.Ten, Pearl Jam (drops to position 93)
2.Nothing's shocking, Jane's Addiction (drops to position 42)
3.Dirt, Alice in Chains (drops off the list)
4.The Joshua Tree, U2 (drops off the list)
5.Ritual de lo Habitual, Jane's Addiction (drops off the list)

Its funny that with the exception of Radiohead's OK computer the other 4 records in the top 5 had been released when the 1993 list came out. There is one glaring entry on the 1993 list that somewhat blows my theory about death and fame and that is of course Alice in Chains "Dirt" album, in just over ten years it went from being hailed as the 3rd best album of all time to an album someone would be embarrassed to use as a coaster. The explanation may be directly related to the last line of Cobain's suicide note. "Its better to burn out than to fade away". After "Dirt" Alice in Chains literally faded away where as Cobains death sprung them even farther into superstardom. Had Cobain's and Stayley's deaths been reversed I suspect history would too.

tags: music, top 100, grunge, Nirvana

Labels: celebrities, music

I Originally wrote off the first season of the American office after seeing the pilot episode because it was a poor cookie cutter version of the British version. At that point I had seen the entire 2 seasons and the holiday special so I really didn't want to watch the whole story played out again. So up until this season I had only seen 1 episode of season 1. This all changed when I caught an episode of season 2 a couple of weeks ago, the show has definitely come into its own. The basic premise is the same but they are rolling with a different storyline all together. Steve Carell is the perfect person to play the boss character, he does it brilliantly. I literally cannot picture another (American) actor who could putt it off as well as him. Its also a refreshing change to see a show that features "average" looking people. I don't know how the show is doing in the ratings (its on NBC who are in last place of the big 4 networks) but I hope it can finish its run.

tags:tv, entertainment, the office

Labels: celebrities, tv

...except she lip synchs and was never in a good band.

tags: music, entertainment, pics

Labels: celebrities, music

Well we all know that the Olsen twins are the worlds richest 18 year old anorexic coke heads (who knew that the straight to video market was so lucrative) but what happened to the rest of the cast from full house.

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John ( 1-800-C-A-L-L-A-T-T) Stamos - Jesse Katsopolis
When Stamos finally figured out that being in a 90's version of the Beach boys really wasn't that cool his acting career had gone the way of Brian Wilson's music career. Stamos needed a plan (actually he needed a meal ticket) so he married Rebecca Romijn. Eventually Rebecca got sick of working while Stamos sat on the couch watching Saved by the Bell re-runs so she divorced him.

last seen:Drawing up papers to try and take half or Rebecca's money.

most likely to: Put out a classified ad asking if anyone needs a bongo drum player.

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Bob (the poor mans Jeff Goldblum) Saget - Danny Tanner
Since the show Saget has done little more than make a cameo in "Half Baked" in which he played a true to life character. He reportedly did months and months of first hand research to properly get into the role. One important thing to note Saget did win the coveted "Worst Comedian alive" award since full house (I am 100% serious about that).

last seen:Writing threatening letters to Tom Bergeran (the current host of Americas Funniest Home Videos).

most likely to:Try and beat up Tom Bergeran. (when Saget appears on Hollywood Squares).

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Dave (I swear I dated Alanis Morrisette) Coulier - Joey Gladstone
Coulier thought a little stint on the Surreal life would revive his career but upon realizing that the only part of him that could make any money was his kidney Dave "cut it out" and sold it on the black market.

last seen:Hanging out on the streets with a sign that says "Will impersonate Bullwinkle for food". Needless to say he's hungry.

most likely to:Be caught in bed with a Jakelope.

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Lori (I was hot once wasn't I?) Loughlin - Rebecca "Becky" Katsopolis - Donaldson
Lori's Character Rebecca may be best remembered as Jesse's bitch wife who destroyed his chances of
being a rock star in Japan (at least that's all I remember of her)

last seen:On a soon to be canceled TV series.

most likely to:Appear in a made for TV movie, leaving the audience saying "hey she kinda looks familiar, ahh who cares change the channel".

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After doing some research it seems that the girls from full house have (for the most part) left the world of entertainment to follow "regular" lives. It doesn't seem right to make fun of them seeing as it was humiliation enough to have been on full house for all those years.

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Candace (Keep your stick on the ice) Cameron - DJ Tanner
As you may have heard Candace married a hockey player and had a couple kids, what you may not know is that she is a hardcore religious freak.

last seen:Converting the non-believers.

most likely to:Convince her brother Kirk to check into rehab.

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Jodie (I was the annoying one) Sweetin - Stephanie Tanner
Jodie is also married now and rumor has it she wants to start directing.

last seen:Answering questions about the Olsen twins.

most likely to:Never be seen again.

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Andrea Barber - Kimmy Gibbler
Andrea went to school to study psychology. Considering the people she was surrounded by in her formative years it should come as no surprise.

last seen:Writing her thesis on the topic "The devastating effects of Saget and Couliers jokes on a child's brain"

most likely to:Make a future appearance with Screech and Erkel in a show entitled "The worst sitcom characters of all time".

tags: tv, entertainment, Full House, humor

Labels: celebrities, tv

Whenever Donald Trump talks about the Apprentice in interviews he talks about how the show is huge and how it kills in the ratings. I was curious about this so I looked up the ratings. In reality the Apprentice is not up against: a higher rated show in its time slot or a higher rated show on Thursday night. Its up against the highest rated show on TV CSI. And if you look at that chart (in the link) the Apprentice isn't even in the top 20, meaning that at the very very least CSI is beating the Apprentice by 16 million viewers.

Personally I like the Apprentice and I always watch it over CSI. Not that CSI is bad I often watch the re-runs because they play all the fucking time now but there's something about a reality show battle that a crime drama cant fill.

tags: tv, entertainment, the Donald, reality tv

Labels: celebrities, tv

Do you remember Steve Guttenberg? If you were born after 1980 then there's a good chance you don't but at one time in the mid 80s he was a star.

While flipping through the channels I stumbled upon the last few minutes of a movie on TBS that had him in it as well as the Olsen twins and it got me wondering what the hell happened to that guy.

Here is an IMDB user ratings chart of all his movies (starting with Police Academy because that was when he entered the public eye).

Police Academy (1984)5.8
Police Academy 2 (1985)4.4
Cocoon (1985)6.6
Bad Medicine (1985)4.0
Police Academy 3 (1986)3.9
Short Circuit (1986)5.9
The Bedroom Window (1987)6.3
Police Academy 4(1987)3.5
Amazon Women on the Moon (1987)5.7
Surrender (1987)5.2
Three Men and a Baby (1987)5.7
High Spirits (1988)4.9
Cocoon: The Return (1988)4.9
Don't Tell Her It's Me (1990)5.1
3 Men and a Little Lady (1990)4.6
The Big Green (1995)4.6
Home for the Holidays (1995)6.4
It Takes Two (1995)4.9
Overdrive (1997)3.3
Zeus and Roxanne (1997)5.1
Home Team (1998)3.4
Airborne (1998)3.1
P.S. Your Cat Is Dead (2002)5.1

That's a pretty weak resume. When the highest rated movie you were in is Cocoon (a story about old people feeling young again) you know you're acting career isn't in the greatest shape. One thing I have to give Guttenberg credit for is leaving the Police Academy train wreck after 4 movies out of 7 in the series so far ( I say so far because there are rumors of a new one in the works and judging by Guttenbergs career these days he'll probably be in it).

In the 1995 episode of the simpsons Homer the Great (the one about the secret society the stonecutters) there is a line the Stonecutters song "Who makes Steve Guttenberg a star? We do! We do. This basically implies that it takes a secret society to make someone like Guttenberg famous, not an outrageous theory.

tags:movies, actors, entertainment

Labels: celebrities, movies

Yesterday's Oprah was all about celebs who have gone down to the Gulf coast to help out. One of the segments included Julia Roberts visiting a shelter and talking to some of the refugees. I've never seen a more contrived and insincere performance (and she is supposed to be a top actor). It was pretty ridiculous she didn't seem to show any real empathy for the victims. The complete opposite can be said about Chris Rock (who was on the same show). You could tell that he was genuinely upset by the whole thing.

Sean Penn has been taking a lot of flak lately for his rescue efforts (which have been written off as a PR stunt), but I do have to give him credit for actually getting in that filthy water and actually helping people out. PR stunt or not its a whole lot more than most of the celebs seem to do.

tags: hurricane, katrina, celebrities,

Labels: celebrities

To make it in Hollywood it takes a lot of patience, talent, determination and of course money. As a guide for aspiring film makers I have put together a list of actor alternatives to the big star that you may not be able to afford. I present to you the poor mans actors.


Skeet Ulrich is the poor mans Johnny Depp

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Gary Busey is the poor mans Nick Nolte

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Burt Reynolds is the poor mans Sean Connery

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F. Murray Abraham is the poor mans Ben Kingsley

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Christian Slater is the poor mans Jack Nicholson

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Leelee Sobieski is the poor mans Helen Hunt

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Joey Lauren Adams is the poor mans Renee Zellweger

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Kyra Sedwick is the poor mans Julia Roberts

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Kd Lang is the poor mans Tobey Maguire

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Emilio Estevez is the poor mans Charlie Sheen

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Charlie Sheen is the poor mans Martin Sheen

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Daniel Baldwin is the poor mans Stephen Baldwin

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Stephen Baldwin is the poor mans Billy Baldwin

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Billy Baldwin is the poor mans Alec Baldwin

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Cuba Gooding Jr. is the poor mans oscar winner

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Christopher Walken is the poor mans space alien

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Pauly Shore is the poor mans Jar Jar Binks

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Ron Perlman is just plain creepy please dont put him in any more movies.

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Check:

Poor Man's Actor Part 2

Labels: celebrities

first Vin Diesel starred as some sort of secret agent in "xXx"

and Ice Cube was babysitting a couple of kids in "Are we There Yet?"

then Vin Diesel started babysitting a couple of kids in "The Pacifier"

and then Ice Cube became the new xXx in the "xXx: State of the Union" thus completing the cycle


I do want to note that I havent seen any of those movies and do not plan on ever seeing any of them (especially the Vin Diesel ones).

Labels: celebrities, movies

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Jamie Foxx - RAY

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Morgan Freeman - MILLION DOLLAR BABY

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Hilary Swank - MILLION DOLLAR BABY

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Cate Blanchett - THE AVIATOR

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
THE INCREDIBLES

ART DIRECTION
THE AVIATOR

CINEMATOGRAPHY
THE AVIATOR

COSTUME DESIGN
TROY
THE AVIATOR

DIRECTING
THE AVIATOR
MILLION DOLLAR BABY

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
BORN INTO BROTHELS

DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT
AUTISM IS A WORLD
MIGHTY TIMES: THE CHILDREN'S MARCH

FILM EDITING
RAY
THE AVIATOR

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
THE SEA INSIDE

MAKEUP
THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST
LEMONY SNICKET'S A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS

MUSIC (SCORE)
FINDING NEVERLAND

MUSIC (SONG)
THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA
THE MOTORCYCLE DIARIES

BEST PICTURE
RAY
MILLION DOLLAR BABY

SHORT FILM (ANIMATED)
LORENZO
RYAN

SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION)
LITTLE TERRORIST
WASP

SOUND EDITING
SPIDER-MAN 2
THE INCREDIBLES

SOUND MIXING
THE AVIATOR
RAY

VISUAL EFFECTS
SPIDER-MAN 2

WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY)
MILLION DOLLAR BABY
SIDEWAYS

WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY)
THE AVIATOR
ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND

11 out of 24... I came in 2nd in the Pool the winner got 13.

Labels: celebrities, movies

ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Jamie Foxx - RAY

ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Morgan Freeman - MILLION DOLLAR BABY

ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Hilary Swank - MILLION DOLLAR BABY

ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Cate Blanchett - THE AVIATOR

ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
THE INCREDIBLES

ART DIRECTION
THE AVIATOR

CINEMATOGRAPHY
THE AVIATOR

COSTUME DESIGN
TROY

DIRECTING
THE AVIATOR

DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
BORN INTO BROTHELS

DOCUMENTARY SHORT SUBJECT
AUTISM IS A WORLD

FILM EDITING
RAY

FOREIGN LANGUAGE FILM
THE SEA INSIDE

MAKEUP
THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST

MUSIC (SCORE)
FINDING NEVERLAND

MUSIC (SONG)
"Learn To Be Lonely" - THE PHANTOM OF THE OPERA

BEST PICTURE
RAY

SHORT FILM (ANIMATED)
LORENZO

SHORT FILM (LIVE ACTION)
LITTLE TERRORIST

SOUND EDITING
SPIDER-MAN 2

SOUND MIXING
THE AVIATOR

VISUAL EFFECTS
SPIDER-MAN 2

WRITING (ADAPTED SCREENPLAY)
MILLION DOLLAR BABY

WRITING (ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY)
THE AVIATOR

Labels: celebrities, movies

I saw a terrble movie today....Chronicles of Riddick Bullshit starring Vin Trash Bin Diesel. What a stupid pointless waste of time. It looked like a sequel to Battlefield Earth but with a tenth of the entertainment value. yeah.

Labels: celebrities, movies

I dont understand...

-how that show corner gas is still on the air
-peoples fascination with lindsey lohan, paris hilton and jessica/ashlee simpson
-how the band that wrote "heart of the sunrise" also wrote "owner of a lonely heart
-why you cant get frankenberry in Canada
-people who think CGI looks good

Labels: celebrities, food, movies, music, tv

I used to say "Im not a big fan of Matt Damon but he's in two of my favourite movies". those movies being Good Will Hunting and Rounders, but I saw him interviewed today and he was actually a straight up dude, none of the hollywood shit just an actor who wants to be an actor. I dont know the purpose of this entry.

I bought new shoes today <----- thats the purpose.

I dont consider myself to be brand loyal or to be a shill for any product or company but I bought a specific brand of shoes at least a year and half ago ( I wish that I had kept track of when I had bought them ) anyway they have been the most durable shoes Ive ever had. I walk over 10km a day so the amount of wear I do to a pair of shoes is at least 10 times the average person...anyway the last pair of shoes have lasted all this time until the soles wore down ( I feel a good pair of shoes lasts until the soles wear down without any of the stitching coming undone). So today I went back to the shoe store where I got the shoes and dug out the last remaining pair that they had of the same shoes...and now I will know exactly how long they last because of this stupid pointless post.

Labels: celebrities, movies, random